Insecurity is a lack of ethical education

I heard that quote this week, and found it incredibly powerful.

We are taught our morals and values  Families and cultures create and rely on its members being socialized, have a degree of “common knowledge” on how to respectfully and reverently act in the world.  When we act in the world, these actions fall in or out the rule sets we are given. Rule breaking is required in life and it always has consequences, some good, some bad, some meh, but if risk is not involved we are not breaking any rules.  We need this risk, without it there is little change, growth, and adaptation. Cultures would stagnate and not adapt to the world at large without making constant adjustments, tweaking norms and values.

I have taken many of my culture’s, religious, and familial values and created personal ones: joy, kindness, vitality, clarity, structure, dependability, emotional presence, accountability, understanding of personal bias and perspective, plus many many more.  When my actions are not aligned with my values I begin to damage my relationship with myself. I judge myself for letting myself down. The less my actions are connected to my values, the harder it is to recover my relationship with myself. This creates the internal insecurity that cause my anxiety and depression.

To relieve the pressures of insecurity we need to slow down and focus our attention on the behaviour at hand.  We need to educate ourselves to the constant micro ethical choices we make. This is how mindfulness works to relieve mood dysregulation.  Regardless if the behavior is writing, cleaning or thinking, the more we can align it to our values (I do the laundry because it needs to be done, I do it with love because it helps me be emotionally present) the more it has purpose.  The greater the purpose we have in our lives the more resilience we have.

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